Black Roses Red
by Won'tSayI'mInLove
Summary: She stared out her window, watching the two people below her, on the streets. She slammed it shut, but couldn't make herself look away. Rated T, for intense stupidity and drinking references.
1. Black Roses

**A/N: Well, I thought I'd take a stab at GG Fanfics. We'll see how well it goes! This one is set on New Years Eve (late, I know!) and the song is "Black Roses Red" by Alana Grace. I heard it in Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants, and its been stuck in my head for forever! BTW-this is a two shot, so I'll have the next chap up soon!**

Blair Waldorf walked into her house, and immediately it felt wrong. Her mother wasn't there having a strange sort of party-like gathering with some friends, and she wasn't descending upon Blair in a flurry of attention to keep up the face of being the perfect mother with the perfect daughter. Tonight, there was no strangling embrace and excited squeal. No hair-frizzing hugs.

Huh. She never thought that she'd hate _not_ getting this attention.

_Can I ask you a question please?  
__Promise you won't laugh at me.  
__Honestly I'm standing here  
__afraid I'll be betrayed._

Blair walked into her room, sitting on her luxurious bed. Nobody was here, either. Sometimes Nate would stop by, or Serena would pop up to keep up the charade of still being best friends.

Nobody was here today.

_Drowning in my loneliness  
How long must I hold my breath?  
So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea._

She got up and opened her curtains and watched as the sky filled with fireworks. The big clock tower on her block chimed away, informing her that it was midnight.

_I reach to the sky as the moon looks on.  
__One last year has come and gone…  
__It's time to let your love rain down on me._

Watching the happy couples kissing below her, she felt like crying. When she saw some of the guys bending down to propose, she felt like chucking a rock at their heads. Especially when she saw Nate. It looked like he was alone, and she opened her window to call down at him. But she saw his face light up, and knew suddenly that he wasn't alone.

_As twisted as it seems_  
_I only fear love when it's in my dreams.  
__So let the morning light come in  
__and let the darkness fade away…_

He rushed forward, but didn't get far. He ran right into the open arms of a beautiful girl, as tall as Blair but definitely prettier. Her glossy blonde hair was flying and speckled with white, from the gently falling snow. She squeezed him tight, her arms wrapping around him like a snake clinging to its prey. Blair noticed, somewhat bitterly, that this girl's hair wasn't deflated by the wind and snow. There was only one girl whose hair could stand such bad weather...

Serena.

_Let the darkness fade away…_

Blair scowled and slammed her window shut, but she couldn't make herself look away. He was talking to her, she was laughing, and they were still hugging. They looked away, at the fireworks. Slowly, the pair turned to look at each other. Then, they kissed.

Blair felt like screaming.

_Can you turn my black roses red?_  
_Cause I feel like I'll blame it on love.  
__I'm feeling like I'll blame it on love._

Blair sighed softly. She should be happy for her supposed best friend, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. Not when it was her boyfriend that was making her best friend so happy.

_Can you turn my black roses red?_  
_Yeah I feel like I'll blame it all on love._

Blair's eyes welled up. Oh, no. She wasn't going to cry! Waldorfs did not cry. They did not.

She told herself this, even as the tears streamed down her face. She grabbed the tiny heart she'd gotten from Nate for Christmas and threw it into the garbage can. She couldn't look at it. It was the witness to too many sweet things that Nate had said or done, and it just wasn't something she wanted.

_I feel like I'll blame it all on love._

000000

When you were bitten by a snake, you were supposed to suck all the poison out. That, Blair realized, was what she had to do.

_I'll blame it all on love._

So she stood tall and dressed herself in her nicest pair of jeans, her long wool Nanette Lepore coat with the oversized buttons, and a grey wool beret. She also wore her lucky Tiffany necklace, the one with a silver heart charm and the toggle clasp in front. She'd had a four-leaf clover engraved on the back, with her initials in the middle. She felt like she'd need luck today.

_Promise you won't laugh at me?_

She fished the gold heart out of the garbage and set it back on her desk, trying not to cry. Hey, just because Nate was horrible didn't mean she had to through away the gifts he'd given her, did it?

_I only fear love_  
_when it's in my dreams._

She walked out of her room, taking her favorite purse with her, and sighed. She knew she had a mission cut out for her now, and she had to work hard if she wanted to reach her goal.

_Let the morning light come in_  
_and let the darkness fade away…_

**A/N: I'm working on the 2nd chap...it'll be up soon...review!**


	2. You Fall Before You Fly

**A/N: Okay, so there's something confusing here that my beta-reader (Mokona-dono) told me about: there's lyrics AND thoughts here, so it's hard to tell them apart. So, here's a little key to help you guys out:**

**_"Bold and italic"_** lyrics 

_Italic _ Evil or Good Blair (thoughts)

"Normal, but in quotes" normal (real) Blair/ speech

"_Italic, in quotes_" music from B's speakers/ TV

**Oh, and the song is "Go figure" by Everlife. Not mine, sorry.**

Blair ran a hand through her brunette curls and sighed. Then, after a final glance in her full-length mirror, placed her grey wool beret on her hair and turned away. She dashed off, running down the hall and past her kitchen, dining room, and living room. She had to get out of there, before she talked herself out of what she needed to do.

**Just when you learned  
the game of life  
****all the rules changed  
overnight.  
**

She imagined the two sides of her brain as two people. A Good Blair, dressed in a white Dior mini dress, and an Evil Blair, dressed in a red strapless Betsey Johnson floor-length gown. Good Blair was perched on Blair's left shoulder, her huge feathered wings beating softly. Evil Blair was standing on Blair's right shoulder, whispering into Blair's ear.

_Turn back, Blair_, Evil Blair was saying, she twirled her devil's tail and smiled temptingly. _There's plenty to do at home! And you're too good for Nate and Serena anyway._

_**It seems so wrong  
to even try.**_

_Maybe so_, Good Blair countered._ But still, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Go apologize, Blair._

_**But taking a chance  
never felt so right.**_

Real-Blair sighed and hit her face with her palm. _SLAP! _

**You have a dream  
that you wanna be  
the center of the story.**

"Chill," she scolded herself out loud. It wasn't like her parents were going to hear her. They'd taken off for some Caribbean cruise last night.

_So now you're talking to yourself? Might as well check yourself into a mental clinic! _Evil Blair was rolling her eyes, and twirling her tail in the other hand. _Go anywhere but Nate or Serena's place. They're so lame, Blair, and you're so above them._

_No, she needs to go apologize. _Good Blair flicked her halo in annoyance. _Come on, Blair. Serena is your best friend. Forever._

_**Just when you think it's gone  
you find a way to keep it going on.**_

"Forever is a very relative term," Blair said, groaning. "What do I do?"

_No, no, no! _Evil Blair was stomping her foot, shoving her Marc Jacobs spike heel into Blair's shoulder a little bit. _She shouldn't apologize. That shows weakness._

_No, it doesn't! It shows humanity. Something you clearly lack, _Good Blair snarled at Evil Blair.

Immediately, the two started yelling at each other, at the same time, and Blair could only hear a few distinct words:

_Oh, no, no, no…You little…I hate you…not your business…absolutely not…hate…go…she shouldn't…oh yes she…no…yes…It's not your business…what do you care about…Oh…OMG…shut up…no, she…why, I outta-_

Annoyed, Blair flicked both of them off of her shoulders at the same time. Then she started walking again, realizing she'd stopped.

_**Sometimes you fall  
before you fly.  
Sometimes you laugh  
when you should cry.**_

When she reached her doorman, she smiled and waved.

"Miss Waldorf!" he greeted her, smiling. "Where do you want to go today? Barney's? They've opened a new Coach store, too, Miss Waldorf."

Blair was tempted, but she shook her head. "Thank you, but I'm headed to Serena's place today."

"Ah, yes. Miss Van Der Woodsen. Good that you two are so close." He nodded, calling up a taxi and telling him the address.

"Yes, we're best friends forever," Blair said, but her voice cracked on the last word, and it came out sounding strangled. She clutched tighter to the big pink Juicy Couture shopping bag in her hand.

_**When things got messed up  
you wanted to give up.  
Nothing seemed to turn out fine.**_

"Of course, Miss Waldorf," he said, and she smiled as he opened the door of the cab and let her in. "Have a safe trip, Miss." Then he shut the door. He leaned over to talk to the driver, giving him Serena's address.

_**It's so dangerous  
to play it safe.  
You get what you want  
by giving it away.**_

Blair smiled softly as her building slipped away, sighing and running a hand through her curls again.

"Cold, isn't it Miss?" the driver asked her, amicably.

"Certainly," Blair agreed, tugging her beret down so it perched on her hair at a cute angle.

"So, are you a good friend of Miss Van Der Woodsen?"

"Best friends forever," she said, but her lower lip trembled. _I hope_.

_**Not everything  
is what it seems.  
There's never just one meaning.**_

"Good. I'm glad that this city hasn't fallen to fights like it used to." The driver grinned at her, smiling as he glanced at her in the rear view mirror.

"Mmm," Blair mumbled, her mood somewhat deflated.

_**When life starts making sense  
the world is upside down again.  
Go Figure.**_

000000

"Thank you, sir," Blair said as she paid the driver his money.

"No problem, Miss. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Blair said back, and turned to go. She swung her bag a little as she walked up to Serena's apartment building. She smiled at the doorman as she went up the steps.

"Hello, Miss Waldorf," he greeted her.

"Hey," she said.

"Going to see Miss Van Der Woodsen?" he asked her.

She nodded, swinging the bag.

"All right. You don't need a badge. Just go up." He grinned and opened the door for her.

She went through, smiling at him. "Happy New Year," she said as she glided into the building.

_**When things got messed up  
you wanted to give up.  
Nothing seemed right but it turned out fine.**_

000000

"B!" Serena cried out. "OMG, what are you doing here? Usually _I_ pop up at _your_ place."

Serena came out of her bedroom after hearing Blair let herself in. The two girls hugged, and when they drew apart, Blair swung her bag.

_**Sometimes you fall  
before you fly,  
sometimes you laugh  
when you should cry.**_

"Well," Blair said. "I brought over cheap wine and over-priced chocolate and figured we could have a good boy-bashing session. Since neither of us has a boyfriend." She eyed Serena, as though waiting for her face to betray her.

But Serena's face only lit up, eyes glowing as she said, "Oh, that's fabulous!" She pulled her blonde curls back, twirling it around her hand a few times, and picking up a pen at random to secure her bun. "Nate is so mean. You know, he tried to kiss me last night! I was like, ew!" She crinkled her nose.

"Ew!" Blair laughed, despite the rage she'd felt last night. "So gross. But you didn't kiss him back, did you?"

_**Did you really think  
your destiny  
was a one-way street?**_

"No! Ew, of course not! I thought her was still with you. We were just like, laughing and watching fireworks, and she just like, leaned in and tried to kiss me!"

"You mean he?" Blair asked, trying not to show the relief that was washing over her.

"No," Serena answered. "I meant she. Nate was always a bit girly, dontcha think?"

Blair nodded. They were walking towards Serena's parent's room, where there was a wall-to-wall/ floor-to-ceiling TV that, as Serena's mom had said, "was a pain in the butt to get in there." It was huge and horribly grainy but looked incredible when it was off for the Home & Garden tours that the Van Der Woodsens always seemed to be inevitably sighed up for.

_**You gotta be  
ready for anything.  
Just set your whole life  
free.**_

"So, what horrifically cheesy movie will we watch today?" Serena flipped through her parents' update collection. "27 Dresses? Legally Blonde? Legally Blonde Two?"

"Legally Blonde Two!" Blair shot up, laughing. " I love Paulette."

Serena's eyes lit up. "I know!"

"'I makes me want a hot dog real bad,'" they quoted together, laughing hysterically.

"Red, White, And Blonde it is, then," Serena put the DVD in and the grainy image came onto the screen.

000000

"Guys suck," Blair muttered for the hundredth time. She was sitting on the floor, with Serena on the bed above her, supposedly braiding her hair. But as the bottles had piled up, the braiding had been forgotten.

_**When things got messed up  
you wanted to give up.  
Nothing seemed right  
but it'll turn out fine.**_

"I know," Serena mumbled. She tipped back the champagne bottle she'd pulled out only an hour ago. "Aw, man, there's no more champagne!"

"Yeah," Blair said, getting a sense of déjà vu through her clouded brain. Hadn't they run out of champagne before Elle and Bruiser had even hit Washington?

"Mmm," Serena agreed. "So now what?"

"So, now, we eat the rest of the chocolates?" Blair suggested. "I mean, they suck, but they were supposedly expensive."

"Fine," Serena said, popping a chocolate into her mouth. "Ew! These are gross."

Blair bit into a chocolate-covered blueberry. "Ew. They _do_ suck."

"Almost as much as Nate does," Serena agreed.

"OMG! Nate! I almost forgot. I need to go end it with him," Blair shot up, gasping as she fell back onto the fluffy pile of pillows she'd made on the floor. "Owww, headache!"

There was no reply.

"S?" Blair called.

Still, silence.

**_Nothing seems right  
_**_**but it'll turn out fine.  
Go figure.**_

"Hello?" Blair asked, getting irritated. "S?"

Nothing.

Now Blair was getting worried. "Serena?"

There was a THUMP from above her, and Blair finally looked up and realized that Serena had fallen off of the bed.

_**Go figure.**_

000000

Blair felt awful for leaving Serena there, passed out on her parents' bedroom floor, but she'd had to. She had to get Nate before he left for the Lacrosse practice.

"Thanks," she told the driver, getting out of the cab. She threw a fifty-dollar bill at him. "Keep the change."

"Thanks, Miss." He sped off, hardly waiting for her to close the door.

She turned and walked past the doorman, not even stopping to talk to him. Nate's doorman was an unimportant man, who didn't care who you were; he just wanted to get you out of there as fast as he could. He hated being social and glared at Blair as she waltzed past him.

Sometimes you fall  
before you fly. 

Blair thought he might have taken this job simply because he wanted to throw people out of the place.

"Happy New Year," she called to him, mostly just to spite him. Sure enough, he scowled back.

When she reached Nate's place, she sighed. Then she let herself in. He was watching TV in his room, flopped lazily on his bed.

"Nate?" she walked in, looking demure and shy.

"Hey, Blair."

"Nate, if we weren't going out, would you want this necklace back?" She touched the delicate diamond-encrusted gold heart that hung on a fourteen-inch pure gold chain around her neck.

"Yeah," he said bluntly. "That thing cost me like, ten iPhones!"

_**Yeah, go figure.**_

"Well, too bad, sucker!" Blair screamed at him, suddenly angry. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT BACK!"

_**Things got messed up  
and you wanted to give up.  
Nothing seems right,  
but it'll turn out fine.**_

And with those somewhat drunken words, she stumbled out of his apartment and called her family's driver, unsure why she hadn't thought of doing that before. But by the time she was stepping out of the elevator, she saw her driver parked outside. She also noted with frustration that there was a woman outside the car, arguing with her driver. As she got closer, she could hear the woman's words:

"But I called for a car, a black limo, and this is a black limo, so you must be the car I called for…what do you mean, you're a private driver? I called you! I'm the one you're supposed to be driving!… Oh, no, no, you're not getting away! I called for a car, you showed up, and now, you're driving me!"

"No, he's not," Blair said, coming up behind the woman. "This is my driver."

"Miss Waldorf," the woman stuttered. "This is your driver?"

"Yes," she said, icily.

_**Sometimes you laugh  
when you should cry.  
Go figure.**_

She got in the car. Her driver wound up the window, and she sped away.

"So, now that that's over, where to?" The driver asked her.

"Home, of course."

000000

Blair walked into her apartment. It was empty again, but she heard soft music playing from her room.

"_I believe there's a way  
you can love me  
because I say… _

I'm not gonna write you  
a love song,  
just 'cause you ask for it  
'_cause you need one.  
__Not 'cause you tell me it's  
__make or break, no."_

Blair sighed softly. She must have left it playing, all this time. Wow. Amazing that it hadn't shut itself off.

She walked into her room, and gasped. "Holy…"

Nate was there. Sitting in her window like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"What are you doing here?" Blair asked, her voice colder than she'd meant it to be.

He looked hurt. "What…"

"I broke up with you." Blair narrowed her eyes. She remembered this: the angry breakup, the shocking meeting, the making up, then the heartbreak. Again.

"But…Blair…"

"No. Out," she ordered.

_**You gotta be  
ready for anything.**_

"Blair…best friends don't' throw out best friends." Nate frowned at her with mock seriousness.

_All for show_, she thought bitterly.

"Well, I'm not throwing out Serena, I'm throwing out my lying, cheating _ex_-boyfriend." She crossed her arms and glared.

_**Sometimes you'll fall  
before you fly.**_

"Cheating?" he asked, quizzically.

"Yes! I saw you with Serena!" Blair started to cry. _Bad Blair! Waldorfs do not cry. _The tears came harder. _Okay, forget that! Yes we do._

"I'm sorry, Blair," he finally said. "I'll… change."

"You've said that before," Blair wailed. "And you never do, Nate, _you never do_!"

"But…Blair…what about us, best friends forever?" He looked at her.

"Forever sucks," she sobbed.

"But…"

"You know, I used to love you, Nate! But you just _mess it all up_, and you went and just…just…ruined it! You _life ruiner_!"

"Blair, I'm sorry, I really am," he was pleading now.

A sad little poem popped up in her mind:

_By the time you swear you're his,  
shivering and sighing,  
and he vows his passion is infinite,  
__undying,  
Lady, make a note of this.  
One of you is lying._

She started to cry harder. "Nate, you say that every time, you little loser, and you never seem to mean it."

"I do, Blair, I really do," he begged her, coming to sit next to her. "Come on, Blair, we're best friends. One little mess-up shouldn't mess us up, should it?"

"Yes," Blair cried. "It shouldn't but it did!"

"Listen, what do you say about this. We forget this, we act like it never happened. We continue to go out, and I never look at another girl. Not another one. Only you. What do you think?"

**_When things got messed up  
you wanted to give up.  
Nothing seemed right,  
but it turned out fine._**

"I think," Blair said softly, wiping at her eyes, "that I hate you now."

"But…I'll try, Blair, I really will. Please?"

"You say that every time. _Do you ever mean it_?" She cried harder, not caring if her mascara ran or her eyeliner smudged.

"Yes, of course I do," he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Of course."

"No, you don't," she screeched, tears streaming faster. "You never mean it! You just say you do, but you honestly don't!"

_**Did you really think  
you destiny  
was a one-way street?  
You gotta be  
ready for anything.**_

"Come on," he begged. "What do you think about forgetting this? What do you say to acting like a perfect couple again? Back to being the best couple ever, like we're supposed to be? What do you think?"

She dried her eyes one last time before getting up and looking at him. She used to love him, but now, she couldn't figure out why. His hair was greasy-looking, he smelled like he'd soaked in beer for the last week, his eyes were cloudy and small. His voice was whiny and irritating, his skin rough and dry.

_I used to love you, _she thought. _But now, I don't know why._

"Blair? Sweetie? What do you think?"

"I think you should leave now."

_**Nothing seemed right,  
but it turned out fine.  
Go Figure.**_

**A/N: Awww, 11 pages and poor B still can't get N to behave. At least she and S are BFF again…and this chap is 2,777 words long, so Maddi can't kill me. That number doesn't include the authors notes OR the lyrics, FYI. With them, there are 2852 words. Heck. Yes.**

**The song from B's speakers is "Love Song" by Sara B. The poem B remembers is by Dorothy Parker. Neither is mine. Doncha just love that poem, though? Its so…sweet. In a twisted, sadistic, anti-love way, that is.**

**Review, everyone! It really helps me feel better about me posting my sad little fics up here.**

**XOXO**


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